July 8th 2014

7 Months ago, whilst in Dubai ‘Testing the waters’ myself and the WAGS of the rugby 7s team we were travelling with took a trip to the Atlantis Water park, to cut a long story short, the handstand i did in the sea did not turn out to be a good idea, (yes they have a beach in the waterpark!) i severely damaged my knee by clashing with a shoulder on the descent. POP! Little did i know the consequence of that handstand and the challenges it would bring me. .1379919_10153539021550640_614663193_n                                                                                 rhian2


Why did having a knee injury hit me so badly? After all i’m reading a book of Nick Vuyijik , the happiest guy alive and he has no limbs!  Why was it getting me so down….tears, emotional binges, depression.  It seemed stupid and pathetic in my mind that it even had this affect on me but I knew it was because my Identity had become my job and my training. I was training twice a day and all my personal training, classes and shifts were all in the fitness field.  My ability to perform as a top athlete and to be efficient in teaching seemed to take a hit.  I’d gone from the happiest, smiley trainer to  feeling lost, depressed and negative about my day.

The previous 7 months I have spent more time reading and getting to know myself, focusing on who I am and what else there is to me other than fitness, and also what my true values and beliefs are. I’ve realized now that in my 20’s MY Identity became my marriage and everything that came with it and secondly Fitness (my job and hobby). Two years ago I lost my marriage and so  turned to my fitness and threw everything i had into it, it helped me so much to get through the toughest two years of my life.

Now that my ability to play sport, demonstrate an exercise to a client, take a class, carry out my work shifts and even drive to work was put on halt I felt stripped of who I was, I felt quite useless and worthless to be honest.

BUT There is SO MUCH MORE to every one of us.

I’ve learnt a lot about myself by taking a step back and trying new things, and doing the other things that i know to enjoy. I love reading, I love cross stitch, socializing with my friends
(who are so valuable to me), going to church, riding motorbikes, watching gigs etc…I am a sister to Rachel and John, a girlfriend to Ollie,  a daughter to Michelle and Anthony, I have a passion for God and to walk the christian Faith, I have a passion for nutrition, I love the discipline of staying with healthy and nutritious foods all week then having a big Treat day! I love adventures..skydives, water parks, zoos, travelling, beach, bounce, theatre.  I’m very mentally strong, I’m a very productive person, I care a lot for people and their happiness, I am allergic to negative people, I want to be a role model and inspiration to those who are chasing dreams or goals however big or small.

Who you are and Who I realized I am is a lot more than I thought, its more than where you work, your kids, your hobby, your background, your upbringing,the size of your house/car, the money in your bank, your fame, the clothes you wear, the makeup on your face, this is all FALSE and will not lead to lasting happiness.  Your identity is who you are as a whole, your values, beliefs, your real purpose. etc   So many people are molded by society that it is sad to see that some people are afraid to be an individual and that they don’t know who they really are, or what qualities they may have within.

I continue to learn about myself every day, I am a lot more aware of my thoughts now, as its your thoughts that determine your moods and your actions, I am confident now that whatever life may bring at me, this time I will be more secure and stable and grounded in the foundation of knowing my identity, especially my identity in who God created me to be.  This will in turn make me a more confident, happy and loving person.

Get to know yourself, your personal values and beliefs, don’t be afraid to spend time with yourself.  What are your good points? What do you like doing? What do you dream of being/doing? Whats on your bucket list? Work your way through it and start planning now!!

Have a great evening guys.

Time for me to crack on with some Rehab :) :)